its difficult
One of the hardest feelings in the world to live with- being in love with another, and not able to be with them. Not have them here to share everything with; from the grandest life experiences to the simplest joys. Those little inside jokes you two share, but they’re not there to share them with anymore. The comfort of someone to hold you at night. The convenience of being only a short drive away (or even closer).
Thousands of miles apart…but the love that holds them together is as strong as ever. Will there ever be an ‘us’ again? Hmmm…that’s the ultimate question; the ultimate quest; the ultimate endeavor. Is it worth fighting for? Should you devote energy and emotion to something that isn’t guaranteed? And if it doesn’t end up working out- would all that effort have been in vain? Should one allow themselves to suffer through such turmoil for a trophy resting on a pedestal that may have risen too far from reach? With no special cookies to eat & grow taller…this is no fairy tale. Will this princess ever get her prince back? She had him. Was she foolish to have let him go in the 1st place?!
Which brings me to my main question: Can one justify exchanging their dreams and aspirations for a love of the moment?
A love that hinders and distracts its victims from reaching their goals is not a healthy love to be involved with. True love is One that inspires its students to pursue all of which they were holding back from seeking; to reach out that extra hand to save that innocent from a burning building; the genuine smile that unconsciously coaxed the suicidal man from jumping off the bridge…luring him back to solid ground, back to reality.
The type of love that provides a stable platform for creativity and self-discovery. Love that is conducive to healthy communication, non-judgmental of those faults you are both aware of, but choose to live with any way. Love that is not just a physical act, but metaphysical. Transcendental. Emotional and spiritual.
But where is the safest to place to draw that line? You know- that line that keeps you from crossing into the land of the “unhealthy” relationship…that dark, wicked land where the love becomes constrictive. It becomes jealous and angry; it eventually consumes you both…leading to your demise.
How do you know when you’ve entered this land? What signs are visible indicating that you are getting close? Are there mileage markers along the road? Is the road of travel based upon a numerical value? And who decides the qualities that compose this numerical value? Who would want such a retched job as to be responsible for deciding such things? Whomever he or she is- must be a sick fuck, indeed.
For, nobody ever wants to be dropped into the limbo land as melancholy as that of which constrictive Love is like. It envelops your soul and entire being. It squeezes you so tightly that you are no longer free to pursue your dreams.
It’s rather difficult to know when you are reaching this point…and once you’ve reached it- how do you turn back again?!?
